Making a Great Toast

Offering a toast to the host of a dinner party, a friend or newly weds is an eloquent way to say thank you and to express your heartfelt appreciation. Columnist and etiquette maven, Pam Harvit, shares some fascinating history about toasts and great pointers in her column, Why we toast, and how to receive a toast in your honor, in the Sunday Gazette-Mail.

A few pointers from Ms. Harvitt are:

Remember the three B's - begin, be brief and be seated.

Toasts do not have to be made with alchol: however, some people believe that making a toast with water will bring bad luck.

Avoid tapping your glass to obtain everyone's attention before proposing a toast.

Stand when proposing a toast (unless the group is ten or less.)

If you are the guest of honor, you should propose a toast to thank the host or hostess before desert.

Never pre-empt the host or hostess by making a toast to a guest of honor before they do. It is their responsibility to offer the first toast.

If the toast is made in your honor, you should neither rise, lift your glass, nor sip your drink. Accept the kind gesture graciously.

It is proper form to return a toast to the person who proposed one in your honor in order to thank them.


A toast to my readers, "may you have a happy, healthy and prosperous new year!"

Esse Diem

Special thanks to Elizabeth Damewood Gaucher for including The Rainmaking Blog on her list of "The Best Blogs You're Not Reading Yet." Elizabeth's blog, Esse Diem,provides a refreshing and thoughtful analysis of the world around us. Elizabeth refers to her posts as "musings" but in reality they are heartfelt and well considered opinions and insight on a wide variety of topics ranging from climate change to interpersonal relationships. Esse Diem is thoughtful blog worthy of your time.

Name Tags on the Right

Nametags should be worn on the upper right side of your chest. Placing the nametag on the upper right side of your chest makes it much easier for people to see it because when you shake someone's hand, the nametag will be directly in front of her. Unfortuantely, most people wear their nametags on their left side, over their heart. This is actually one of the hardest places for people to see it. When you extend your right hand to shake someone else's hand, your body naturally turns to the left, and a nametag positioned on your left chest turns away from the person you are meeting, defeating the whole purpose of wearing a nametag.

4 Things You Can Do to Reduce Anxiety Before Any Event

Do you ever feel awkward at business gatherings and feel like you have nothing to say? A few minutes of preparation before an event can help reduce your anxiety. Try these four little tips before attending your next event.

1. Anticipate basic questions - Think about typical questions that people ask you. "What do you do for a living?" "What's new at work?" "What do you enjoy doing in your free time?" Prepare engaging answers for the "typical" questions. Start by thinking about the information that you want to convey about yourself and/or your business. If someone asks, "What do you do for a living?" Don't simply reply, "I'm an accountant." Talk about the type of work that you perform as an accountant and where you work. "I'm a tax accountant with Barnes & Jones and I specialize in assisting mid size businesses with navigating the tax code." This gives the person you are talking to valuable information and makes you much more interesting. Preparing interesting and well thought out answers to frequently asked questions will make you a better conversationalist and will help you overcome the anxiety associated with "small talk."

2. Think about discussion topics and questions - Have you ever started talking to someone and in two minutes time run out of things to say? The silence that follows can be very awkward. You can avoid these pregnant pauses by spending a few minutes before an event thinking about topics of conversation. What is the one topic that everyone likes to talk about? Themselves. Ask general questions that give people the opportunity to talk about themselves. Flatter people by asking for advice - "Where is a good place to shop or eat dinner?" Read a newspaper or magazine to learn more about current events. Having a few "conversation savers" in the back of your mind will enhance your confidence and reduce your anxiety.

3. Plan your wardrobe - Take a minute to think about the location of the event and the people who will be attending. This will help you dress appropriately and relieve the anxiety associated with over dressing or under dressing for an event.

4. Obtain and review the guest list - Do you have difficulty remembering names? If you review a guest list before the event, you will better be able to recall names when you see people that you know. Additionally, you can use the guest list to identify people that you want to meet and arrange for an introduction. Successful rainmakers have a plan before they enter an event.


Developing the habit of preparing before each event will reduce the uneasiness associated with networking and will lead to the creation of stronger business relationships. Additionally, it will allow you to have more fun!

Which One Is My Bread Plate???

Have you ever sat at a table, looked at the formal place setting of dishes before you and wondered, "Which one is my bread and butter plate?"

Rainmakers, both young and old, often ask themselves this question. The quick answer is that the bread and butter plate is the small plate above your fork and to the upper left of your big dinner plate. It is important to know the placement of this plate because if you use the wrong one, you will throw off everyone else at the table.

Here are two quick tips to remember the placement of the bread and butter plate.

1. If you are a car fanatic, think BMW - Bread, Meal, Water. When looking at your place setting, the Bread plate will be your first plate on the left, the Meal will be served on the big plate in the middle and your Water glass will be on the right.

2. With both hands, make the OK sign with your fingers. If you straighten all of your fingers except the thumb and index finger, your hands will form the letters "b" and "d." Your left hand will form the letter "b" which stands for bread. Your bread and butter plate is on the left. Your right hand will form the letter "d" which stands for drinks. Your drinks are on the right. You now know the correct placement of your bread and butter plate and your drinks.

Cheers!

Present Like a Pro!

Nonverbal Cues Can Make or Break a Presentation


At times, our appearance, tone of voice and mannerisms communicate far more than our words. The nonverbal cues we send to an audience during a presentation can electrify them, captivate them or put them to sleep. Often speakers focus solely on the content of their speech and fail to consider the nonverbal cues that they are sending. Accomplished speakers coordinate their words, gestures, tone, nonverbal cues - the entire package when preparing for a speech.

Steve Jobs of Apple is a compelling public speaker. He practices not only the content of his speech but the visual images and nonverbal cues that he wants the audience to see. The narrator in this video does an excellent job of highlighting Jobs' nonverbal cues and contrasts Jobs' presentation style with those of a less accomplished and less prepared speaker. The contrast is fascinating and very instructive. Please take a moment to view the video. It is well worth your time.

4 Reasons People Don't Buy Your Ideas...Products or Services

Have you ever stopped for a moment to consider why people don't buy your ideas? My friend, Tom Wilkerson, a former general agent for Northwestern Mutual Insurance Company, is the consummate salesman and community leader. Tom has a way of making complicated concepts, such as sales, simple. Here are his 5 reason why people don't buy your ideas, products or services.

1. They don't trust.

2. They don't need.

3. What you're offering doesn't help them.

4. They feel no sense of urgency.

Recent public policy debates in Washington D.C. highlight the importance of these factors in swaying public opinion. If you listen to the arguments of opponents of health care reform, these five themes are highlighted. Some feel that Congress and the President spent too much money on bailouts and stimulus packages. They lack trust. Others, who have health insurance and are afraid of being burdened with taxes and losing what they have, don't need reform. Simply stated, what is being offered doesn't help them. Finally, others who say "let's slow down" and examine this change and implement it gradually don't feel a sense of urgency. All five themes are part of the debate. I offer this simplistic analysis not to support one position or the other, but to show you how all five reasons must be addressed to successfully sell your ideas.

Do the same themes apply to selling products or services? Absolutely yes! Regardless of whether you are trying to make change in your community, selling a product to a consumer or trying to offer a professional service, these five reasons must be addressed in order for you to be successful.

In my book, I emphasis the importance of credibility. Credibility and visibility are the two essential elements of developing business relationships. Credibility goes to the heart of trust. You can't simply wake up one morning and say, "Today, I am going to be credible." It takes a lifetime of work to establish credibility. Credibility and trustworthiness can not be turned on and off like a switch. It must be a part of who you are or a part of your businesses culture.

Need is perhaps the greatest driver of human behavior. Need and want are often confused in the minds of consumers, but need must be addressed in order for a sale to occur.

Offering something that is needed may seem like a no-brainer, but I am often amazed at how many people selling a product or service fail to examine the needs of the person to whom they are selling. This is necessary to determine whether the product or service actually helps the consumer. You must have a compelling reason why your product or service will help address the needs of the consumer.

No sense of urgency is often the reason a sale fails. A consumer may like the product or service but he or she will not act until motivated or pressured to do so. How many "infomercials" on TV say, "If you call within the next ten minutes, you will receive_____ free!" Why do they always throw in a bonus offer - to create a sense of urgency.

Just think how many wills are written after a poor health diagnosis or how many accountants are hired after an IRS notice is received. If you want to sell your idea or product, you have to demonstrate to people the urgency of acting now and not delaying.

Before you attempt to make a sale keep these five themes in mind and you will do well.

LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter - Why???

Do you have people in your organization who scoff at the idea of using LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter? Recently, I encouraged a babyboomer friend of mine to sign up for LinkedIn. His response, "Why bother?" My response, "Relevancy."

Shortly after singing up for Facebook, I received a friend request from a colleague. Admittedly, I wasn't comfortable in this new world, and I asked my friend, "Why do you do Facebook?" The answer was simple, yet profound, "It makes me feel relevant."

That is perhaps one of the best reasons for people, especially Babyboomers and Matures, to engage in social networking. If you refuse to engage, a significant part of the world will pass you by. You will become irrelevant. The number of Facebook users is over 300,000,000. Soon Facebook users will surpass the total population of the United States. LinkedIn has over 46 million users. If effective communication is a key to success, shouldn't you be familiar with and experience the medium in which millions of people choose to communicate?

Can you imagine having a similar conversation with your grandmother decades ago. "Grandma why don't you watch TV with us?" Grandma replies, "Its just a fad. Television won't replace the radio." Many argue that LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter are just fads. These folks are probably correct. In time, LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter will fade away in popularity when the next new thing comes along. While this may be true, it is not an excuse for sitting on the sidelines. If you wait for something "permanent" to come along, you will wait forever. Social networking will always continue to change and you can't wait forever to start.

I recently read an article in which octogenarian, Jack Welch, the former CEO of General Electric, discussed Twitter. He described getting on it the first time and looking around. He said, "I just didn't get it." Prompted by his wife, he decided to try it and within a few hours he proclaimed, "I get it!" Jack now has over 824,000 followers. As with many things in life, you can't be a spectator to fully appreciate what is happening. You have to play the game to truly understand it. Social media is a megatrend that can not be ignored. Our younger colleagues at work have adopted social media as a part of their everyday life. If we don't at least explore it and try it, we quickly will become irrelevant. If you need something to motivate you or a friend, watch the video link below. Although I don't agree with all of the stats offered, it does make one think.

Watch The Ends

When developing business relationships with older Americans, you have to "watch the ends." What are the ends? Your hair and shoes. Older Americans were taught the importance of keeping their hair coiffed and their shoes shined.

Have you ever noticed that barber shops and beauty salons are full of older people? I am amazed at the older men who visit the barber shop every two weeks. Many barely have a blade of hair on their head, yet they feel compelled to get a hair cut. At times, I feel that my 84year old mother plans her entire life around her weekly trip to the beauty salon. Why do they do this? It is generational and it is ingrained in them.

If you want to impress older people or do business with them, reflect their values. Keep your hair coiffed and your shoes shined. You will pass one of the most important tests with them - the first impression test. Watching the ends will help build your credibility with this age group.

Another Use for LinkedIn

LinkedIn is a great tool for Rainmakers. You can search for old friends, former colleagues and existing customers and never lose contact with them again. LinkedIn is a "high tech Rolodex" which never needs updated because your contacts do it for you!

Despite these great features, I am always looking for other ways to effectively use LinkedIn. The other day I discovered one.

If you have a new, high profile person join your business team, you can introduce them quickly and inexpensively to all of your connections through LinkedIn. Simply go to the person's LinkedIn profile and double click the word "forward" in the upper right corner. You can send the profile to one contact, all of your contacts or a select number. If you click on the little blue box containing the word "IN" that appears next to the recipient box, a list of all of your contacts will appear. Simply mark the people to whom you want to send the profile.

Another box will appear which allows you to write a note to the recipients. I encourage you to write a brief summary introducing the person and highlighting key information that will encourage people to view the profile or write a note that gives sufficient information. This is important because some people may not open the profile.

This same strategy can be used for key customers and clients. When you hire a new person who will work on their accounts, send a brief note of introduction and the new person's profile. Your client will learn about the new hire and instantly have that person's contact information.

Give it a try!

Please share other practical uses for LinkedIn that you have discovered! I will post the best ideas.

The Two Key Components of Developing Business Relationships

Visibility and credibility are essential to becoming a successful Rainmaker. You have to become aware of, and become known to, the persons with whom you want to build business relationships. You have to become visible. If people don't know who you are, they can't purchase your product or service. That's why networking, civic involvement, speaking opportunities, publishing articles, blogging and other activities that provide public exposure are so important. You can't hide your light under a bushel basket and expect to grow your client base.

You might be thinking, "Hey, I know a guy who is at every event, knows everyone in town, but doesn't have any clients. Why hasn't visibility worked for him?"

The answer probably lies in the second key component of developing business relationships - credibility. Being charming and engaging is wonderful, but it won't sustain a long-term business relationship. You must be competent, reliable and trustworthy to maintain strong business relationships. If you tell a client that you will do something, you better do it, do it right and do it on time. Delivering on promises is essential to developing and maintaining credibility.

We all know lawyers, accountants and other professionals who are brilliant practitioners but have no clients. They work long hours, are extremely dependable and exude credibility. Unfortunately, they don't generate clients because no one knows who they are. They are invisible to the world outside their firms.

The examples above highlight the importance of striking a balance between visibility and credibility. To be successful you have to possess both. As you evaluate your client development abilities, think about where you fall on the visibility and credibility spectrum and then develop a plan to achieve and maintain greater balance.

It Doesn't Matter If You Are The Broker, The Banker or The Candlestick Maker... It's All About Relationships

Relationships are the core of rainmaking. Any successful businessman, lawyer, accountant, stock broker, banker or other professional will tell you that the ability to develop and maintain relationships is essential to developing a large book of business.

Examples of the importance of strong business relationships abound. I have seen careers soar based on relationships and businesses collapse when good relationships go bad.

A great example of the importance of relationships in sales came knocking at my door this summer, twice. Each time I opened the door, I was met by a smiling face and a hearty greeting. The sales persons introduced themselves and asked my name. After making a point of shaking my hand, each told me a personal story - how they were struggling to improve their lives. One asked me, "Do you have any advice for a young person like me trying to make a better life?"

Whenever there was the slightest pause, I would ask, "What are you trying to sell?" Each time they would re-engage me in conversation and avoid my question. With the second salesperson, I became frustrated. Why won't they just tell me what they're selling?

Finally, it dawned on me: they were trying to develop a relationship with me. They knew the importance of relationships. We were well into "our new relationship" before I ever found out what they were selling.

Did it work? You betcha! I now have a second bottle of orange cleaner (I still haven't used the first bottle from last year.) and a children's hospital somewhere in America is receiving a bunch of magazines (I hope).

Obviously, these folks from two different companies were trained similarly. Why were they trained the same way? Because it works!

What these two peddlers taught me was the importance of establishing a relationship before making a sale. If they had told me that they were selling cleaners and magazines when I opened the door, I would have instinctively said, "I'm not interested." Instead they sold themselves first and the products second. Even though our relationship would last less than five minutes, they recognized the importance of establishing it before trying to sell me their product.

Make The Pie Bigger

Shortly after starting the private practice of law, I set my goal on becoming a partner in a large, regional law firm. One day, I asked a senior partner, "What does it take to become a partner in this firm?" I will never forget the answer. Without hesitation, she said, "You have to make the pie bigger. You have to become a rainmaker."

None of my law school professors ever talked about rainmaking, and I received NO instruction on developing a client base.

I talked to my older friends who were insurance agents, stockbrokers, accountants and junior executives, and I asked them what they knew about rainmaking. Suprisingly, most were familiar with the concept, but few knew how to make it happen. Soon I realized that I was not alone. For most young professionals, developing business is a sink or swim proposition.

I looked for books on the subject, but couldn't find anything that applied to someone just starting out. I wanted to know the little tips and tricks that separated the great Rainmakers from everyone else. It was at this time, more than eighteen years ago, that I conceived the idea of writing a book on the subject. Over the years I observed great Rainmakers and recorded their best practices. That information is now captured in my book, RAINMAKING 101.

Since the book was published, I have spoken to numerous groups on the subject of rainmaking. After each presentation, it seems that an audience member shares a little tip that they have learned. Instead of writing a sequel to Rainmaking 101, I have decided to share these tips and other ideas about client development through this blog.

I hope that you enjoy it and find it helpful. Please feel free to share any tips and tricks that you have learned along the way!